I know she's only 8 and obviously, when I was 8 I knew way too much about sex. In fact, I knew all of the basics. My past as a child however is much different than hers has been and due to unfortunate circumstances, I was exposed to it at a very early age even though I didn't know what "it" really was. However, I'm not naive enough to think that she hasn't had some references said to her while on recess. In fact, she was the kindergarten girl the boys were cornering to kiss because she was the #1 cutest girl in their class. She didn't get it then and she hated the kissing (for the most part---although I believe there was a part who was very flattered, as we all would be), but the closest we've ever come to a discussion about sex was this:
Big P: Mom, I didn't come out of your tummy, did I?
Me: No. You came out a woman in China's tummy. She is your birth mom.
Big P: Oh.
Me: Is that okay?
Silence.
Big P: Yeah, that's okay. I'm glad because that looks really messy.
I'm not sure how in the world she knew child birth is messy, except for times when her mother had on Grey's Anatomy or Discovery Health and she saw more than she should have, but that was the extent of the conversation. Other than the warning to not let boys kiss her anymore.
Ultimately, I'd like to find a book we can read together that might make it more understandable. I have friends who told their son about sex when he was in kindergarten, mainly because he was hearing things on the playground and reporting back to them, and they wanted to be the ones to tell him. I then panicked thinking I needed to get on the ball. But, so far I haven't formally talked with her. I suppose it's time. I don't know how to go about doing it except by being straightforward with the information. I'm not one to sugar coat too much and as a kid, I hated that my parents really didn't tell me anything directly. Seems like yesterday I was holding the baby with chubby cheeks and amazing eyes and this beautiful giggle in my arms with the furthest thing from my mind a talk about sex. Now I wonder how much do I tell or do I let her take the lead with questions or is 8 still too early or can I hire someone else to do it?
No easy answer on this. I feel that there is no certain age to talk to your child. You know your child. I found some great Christian books that talked about sex that was age appropriate. I can't remember the exact age breakdown but can look them up if you are interested. But we didn't actually have the talk with Caitlin until this past year when we gave her the "Love waits" ring. I am not stupid enough to think she didn't already know more than I wanted her to know. LOL! But she isn't really that interested in boys and she can't date until she is 16 so I felt we had time. I won't be needing these books for a few years with Marissa if you would like to borrow them. Email me if you want to know the names of them. Good luck!!!
ReplyDelete