Bleh....

Today I woke up exhausted.  With a sore throat.  And yet, the day didn't stop for me so off I went and of course, survived. It was a reminder to me today that I'm single.  You'd think that the whole single thing would be something of a constant reminder, but when you're in a situation where you've been blessed with singleness (referred to as a gift from God actually, and most days, I agree with that thought) one seriously doesn't dwell on being single.  Until days like today.

It's not always the stress like most would think.  It's merely the fitting in of all of life.  For example, over the weekend I didn't get everything accomplished that I wanted to.  One of those things was the mowing of my massive and dearly hated lawn.  I got most of it done but was attacked by bees and tried to finish but the four stings I got ended up killing about 20 mins of my time for the screaming and running accompanied by the going into the house to check out the damage.  Either way, the lawn that didn't get finished is still not mowed and yet is still growing.  I know being married wouldn't necessarily remedy this situation, but in my ideal world of marriage, it would because HE would have been the one out getting stung, and I would have finished the mowing while he watched the kids and moaned and groaned from the pain.

And then we must talk about simple things in life, like running into the store for something small.  You know in your heart it will only take a few minutes.  Hauling the kids out of the car seats and into the store takes usually 10 by the time you have to pull them away from the Silly Band collection they are begging me to buy.  Had I been married, HE could have run to the store, or sat with the kids in the car while I went in and found something that might, just might help my throat feel better.  Instead, I skipped the store stop and took my children's allergy medicine to see if that's the problem.

Add to the scenario that I decided to try attending a Bible study on Monday nights since I really need to do something for ME.  My poor kids haven't seen me all day, but I take them to church and pay Jadyn $2 (hey, it's a wage, ok!) to watch Mataya and play with her in the nursery at church while I sit in study down the hall. Tonight I had to leave early because Jadyn wet her pants accidently (drinking two full water bottles and not going potty all day obviously caught up with her) and Mataya pooped everywhere, so not sure how well this Monday night thing will work.  If I was married, I could leave the kids with HIM or maybe afford a babysitter, although I'd still feel guilty not seeing them all day, and then most of the night.

In addition (so you thought I was done, eh?) my body is getting sick. I can feel it, I've done all I can to ward it off with supplements daily, so I'm hoping it's allergies that are kicking in and not strep.  When I feel crappy, I'm not happy. And yes, poetry is also not my strength. However, my poor kiddos are then stuck with a mom who is not only tired from a full day of work, stressed about an unmowed part of her lawn, wondering about how to kill the bees that have invaded her children's play space but NOW she feels icky, so life for them becomes quite sticky.  Patience is at a premium. I want to hide in bed, under the covers with ice cream since my throat doesn't hurt when ice cream is in my mouth.  Yet, I have to deal with two stinky kids who need baths, one who has boogers herself and appears quite grumpy herself, and of course, those dogs are always needing me, too.  If I was married, I could say, "Tag, you're it." And HE would have to take over the feeding, bathing, and putting to bed tasks.

Did I mention that I needed a haircut?  Although it sounds random, it is one more thing that a single mom with little kids needs to fit in her day when she isn't with the kids, simply because first, I can't keep an eye on them and would hate for them to be abducted from Great Clips, and second, Mataya is still too little to expect her to sit quietly while mama gets her mane trimmed.  Thus, I had to give up work time at school, sneak to Great Clips before going to pick up Mataya and Jadyn in their respective day cares.  Normally, not a bad deal, but once again, I believe it's a hassle that if I had Mr. Perfect in my world, it wouldn't be.

Exercise. What's that?  When would that take place?  A home cooked meal?  Seriously?  You obviously live in Brady Bunch land where Alice is there for you.  I, on the other hand, live more like the Simpsons.  Lest you think I'm complaining, I'm not.  I seriously am single by choice and 99% of the time love it. I simply need a Manny who will be at my beckon call for the things I described above. In the meantime, until I can afford my own Manny, I will simply continue to wake up knowing that no matter what the day holds, it will for sure be adventure at its best and what doesn't kill me, will typically make me grumpy, but stronger.