Saturday, July 9, 2011

Why is it so hard to accept?

Just came home from my Saturday morning Bible study.  It's a Beth Moore study with lots of work to complete, but I resonate with her so well that it doesn't always seem like work.  This week we focused on God's Unfailing Love. It brought me to a question I couldn't answer. Why can't I accept God's unfailing love more? Why do I continue to go back to the notion that there's really no way He could truly have this love so deeply for me that it would be labeled unfailing?

I get that He loves me.  Adores me to be exact. Calls me Beloved which is a term of major endearment. For goodness sake He allowed his Son to die an excruciating death because He loved me so deeply and unfailingly.  Yet, I don't accept it. It's my issue, I know.  He really can't do anything more to show me His love than he has already done.  He has never let me down or abandoned me for even a second.  And yet, is it my pride that makes me feel that just maybe, in a moment unexpected, He will say, "Enough. I'm done. I've tried and tried and you won't accept my unfailing love, which by the way, is a sin."

I've put God in a human form. I don't know any other form.  Trust is one of my weakest character traits and allowing the control and power escape from me to give to Him must be the issue.  I know there's tons of psychological studies that could be done on me (scary to imagine what they'd come up with) simply to tell me I have baggage, which honestly, who doesn't, and that I need to blame my parents, or society, or my brothers who would tickle me until I peed.  But seriously, I'm to blame.  It's my weakness and I need to turn it to a strength or I won't be able to get through parenting these amazing gifts God has given to me.

So, how do you accept God's unfailing love?

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